Offbeat partner: Aubrey
Offbeat partner: Daniel
Date and location of wedding: Prairie Hill Vineyard, Colwich, KS — September 20, 2019
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: The theme was largely based on our mutual love of music and the love we have for our city, with a healthy amount of gamer touches. Our wedding website is themed after a festival website. My husband modeled our invite off of a vintage Beatles ticket.
He created the programs and flyers based on the design of Austin City Limits 2018. We printed locally. Almost all of our music, ceremony, and reception was music we’ve seen live. Our guest book was created by his cousin as a geeky family portrait. We melted perler beads into all the great gaming icons for our reception decorations.
We exchanged boxes before the first look. Mine was filled with 3D-printed goodies and love letters. His was Bioshock-themed and filled with my stress tears and glitter. Speaking of tears, I decided that I was going to do a first look surprise and walk out to him a handmade Big Daddy head from Bioshock. Shout out to cosplayers because that was by far the most time consuming and stressful thing I ever made. Worth it.
We actively tried to rep local as much we could. What do you eat and drink at a festival? Pizza and beer. We catered Wichita Brewing Company for pizza, Nortons Brewing and Central Standard Brewing for local beer, and Grace Hill Winery for local wine. Our venue is the main growing site for Grace Hill.
Our dog was our flower girl and was a very good girl. Our special guest was Mason, our five-month-old, and he did not like his chosen outfit. My mother-in-law created all of the flowers pieces from silk flowers.
Tell us about the ceremony:
My dad officiated the ceremony. He walked out with Daniel and our son Mason. My grandfather walked me down. Both the party and I walked to Yellowcard’s “Field and Fences.”
My dad is an elder at a local Church of Christ and he offered prayers and short devotional about the different types of love. It was short and sweet and only slightly awkward when he touched on erotic love because first, he’s my dad and second, I was holding my son. We wrote our own vows, which you will recognize because I found them on Offbeat Bride.
Aubrey,
Franz Scubert said “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” In the time I’ve known you, I’ve found that true friend, and I’m so very happy to celebrate that with you today and give you these sincere promises. Here are the promises I can joyfully give you:I promise to always be a shoulder for you to cry on. A rock to cling to in your darkest times. Always ready with a warm hug and a reassuring embrace.
I promise to listen enthusiastically about your workday and crazy patients, even if I can’t remember what all the anagrams mean or what symptoms come with the diseases you list.
I promise that my weekend coffee delivery service will be available as long as the population of the hospital is not filled with people that could kill Mason with an errant cough.
I promise to be your family in distance and in closeness, in sorrow and in triumph.
I promise I will continue to grow this life we have built together.
I promise to notice the gifts you give me and to appreciate them: your kisses, your kindness, your patience, your humor, your effort.
I promise to take care of myself and let you help take care of me. I promise to encourage you to take care of yourself and help take care of you however I can.
I promise to invest in us, all the work and all the risk because I can see the rewards every day.
I promise to be your partner, your player two, working toward the same goal: our happiness, together.
And with these promises, I also give this ring to you, as a physical reminder of them and my love for you.
Daniel,
Promises scare me. Maybe I’m too cautious in making them, fearing that changes in circumstance or changes in myself will take the ground out from under me again. But I know promises can remind me of solid ground when things seem shaky. Here are the promises I can joyfully give you:I promise to always be your loudest and most obnoxious cheerleader.
I promise to listen enthusiastically about your workday and projects, even if I have no idea what you’re talking about.
I promise that I won’t stop laughing about how you say the word, Surbit instead of Sherbert.
I promise I’ll try to adhere to your weird laundry basket system.
I promise that I will not try to teach math to Mason, unless I can verify that it’s the end of the world.I promise to be your family in distance and in closeness, in sorrow and in triumph.
I promise I will continue to grow this life we have built together.
I promise to notice the gifts you give me and to appreciate them: your kisses, your kindness, your patience, your humor, your effort.
I promise to take care of myself and let you help take care of me. I promise to encourage you to take care of yourself and help take care of you however I can.
I promise to invest in us, all the work and all the risk, because I can see the rewards every day.
I promise to be your partner, your player two, working toward the same goal: our happiness, together.
And with these promises, I also give this ring to you, as a physical reminder of them and my love for you.
We ended with a tree ceremony that we dedicated to his late grandfather and my late grandmother. We used a script we found on the internet and included the poem that J.R.R. Tolkien wrote for his wife.
My dad read it as we sprinkled earth and watered the pine-oak that we picked out together. We talked to the owners of the venue and got to leave the oak tree with them, as both a thank you and thanks-for-growing-this-tree, we-would-surely-kill-it gift.
We used Jungle’s “Busy’ Earning” as out recessional and tried to get people to clap to the beat.
Tell us about the reception:
We had a pretty standard reception (walked into the *uncut* version “Audi A4” by Missio) food, drinks, cake. Our bridesmaid Bee was our official toastmaster.
When it came to dances, we had a first dance (“Ultralife” by Oh Wonder) and I had my dance with my dad to “Lose it” by Oh Wonder. About midway into the song, I pulled my mom onto the dance floor and we shared a brief family dance. All the rest of the dance’s were traditional but I changed the boutique toss significantly.
In 2016, I was married to someone else. We were having problems. So much so, I had made the heartbreaking decision to walk away. I was a bridesmaid at one of my bridesmaid’s weddings when it came time for her boutique toss. I remember being waved on to the floor by the DJ but I didn’t go. I was alone, but I was still married. I felt like everyone was looking at me and wondering why I wasn’t going up there.
I would never want anyone to feel that way at my wedding so I made some changes. First, I put on the program and had the DJ announce every lady whatever relationship state they’re in please come to the dance floor for the toss. Second, I played Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” because no matter how happily married you are, you are a single lady when you hear that song. Third, I had my bridemaid’s hand out fresh mums to everyone on the dance floor while the song played.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
Be flexible with your budget. We didn’t plan on having videographer until we found out his grandmother wasn’t medically stable enough to join us. We needed a way to show her the day and it turned out to be one of the best things. Here’s the video itself.
If you’re going to use fake flowers over real, spend a little more on the fake flowers. I still spent way less on flowers overall without worrying about how they would look.
GET A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER, even if a sizable chunk of your budget goes to them. At the end of the day, those photos are your most tangible and long-lasting memories you will have. Same idea for a videographer.
Figure out where you want to spend your money. Our reception flowers were from Costco. We made the other decorations from perlers. Cupcakes were cheaper than a standing cake and still taste as good. Pizza is surprisingly cheap and delicious.
Be yourself. I got a few eyebrows from family when we talked about the music we choose. I got more eyebrows about the “first look” surprise, but in the end, this was about us and our love.
Vendors
Makeup: TediFX • Hair: Kylee Melick, No Coast Salon • Dress & Veil: Casablanca from Brooklyn & Co Bridal • Flowers: My mother-in-law Lisa, Hobby Lobby, Michael’s, and Afloral • Location: Prairie Hill Vineyard • Cake: Wichita Cake Creations • Cake topper: Geeks at Heart • Photography: KyAnn Raye Photography • Videophotographer: River City Visuals • Food: Wichita Brewing Co & Pizzeria • Drinks: Central Standard Brewing, Norton’sBrewing Company, and Grace Hill Winery • DJ: RJ with COMPLETE weddings + events