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David, Jolene, and Stephani had their polyamorous triad wedding in Austin, TX. The three partners have been together for six years, functioning as an open triad. This means they have other partners, and they practice what’s known as kitchen table polyamory — the philosophy that all partners communicate openly, and that everyone could sit around a kitchen table and get along.
“We always have our other partners and other metamours together,” Stephani explained. (Kitchen table polyamory focuses on friendly communication between all parties, including your partner’s other partners, also known as metamours.)
The triad’s wedding was a celebration of these ideals, with a very special first look and a carefully designed ceremony…. And lots of butt grabbing!
How was it planning a polyamorous triad wedding? Stephani explains:
It was hard. You can’t just Google how to plan a polyamorous wedding. [ACTUALLY YOU CAN! -Ed] After I got past the “oh shit” how do I do it, it got better… I realized I could still plan a “regular” wedding by just adding a person!
How do you do a first look at a polyamorous triad wedding?
The triad’s photographer, Jenna Avery from Creatrix Photography, explains how she coordinated the first look photos:
In order to capture the magic of each separate relationship, each pairing had their own moments first. Stephanie with David, Stephanie and Jolene, and then Jolene with David. Finally, all three of them came together! The same was done for the “couples” portraits and how they planned the actual ceremony and first dances. As the photographer, I was very careful to honor each dynamic and shoot each pairing as uniquely as possible. As a wedding photographer with a strong polyamorous background, I knew that regardless of their own chosen dynamic, my job was to make sure I treated every relationship as equally as possible. It’s tricky, but it all worked out!!
Polyamorous triad wedding portraits
Polyamorous triad wedding ceremony
The triad put a lot of thought into their polyamorous wedding ceremony. Stephani explained:
How do you stand with three people and the person who is officiating? How can everyone see all of us while sitting? Where does the wedding party stand? Who walks down first? So many questions.
We decided to have three sections for the guests. My husband walked down first, then me, and finally our wife. We stood in a triangle with the officiate off to the side. The bridal party was mixed up and standing off to the sides. Little details like that stressed me out! Of course, by the end of the day, it didn’t matter.
Polyamorous triad wedding reception
There were jello shots and queso! When we asked Stephani if she had any advice to share with other polyamorous folks, here were thoughts on how to have a polyamorous triad wedding:
I would say, be open to all ideas. Focus on what you want and just make it happen. This doesn’t happen every day, people won’t know the difference. If you want a traditional feel, you can still have that. If you want the full wedding experience, hire the DJ, the photographer, the photo booth, and Bar. Just because it’s more than two people doesn’t make it less of a wedding.
We featured Caroline & Simen’s Star Wars proposalin 2019… now you get to see their wedding and hear about the ways COVID actually made this autistic bride’s life easier!
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: We’re both goths, and my favorite color (besides black) is purple, so I guess that was our theme. We just went with whatever we wanted, and everything else we threw out the window. The pandemic did of course affect our wedding a lot, dwindling the guest list down from 80 to 35 people. We had to have restrictions, but it was still wonderful. I can’t imagine it any other way. We got married with family and friends there, had a cemetery photoshoot, a bunch of fun details, great music, and a lot of laughs. What more can you ask for? Oh yes, nobody got sick! SUCCESS.
As an autistic bride, I feel like I need to have control over everything and plan out every single thing I do — that’s just how I live my life. So it was the same for wedding planning too! I probably read most of Offbeat Bride’s archive (I LOVE to do research, we autistics can really get obsessed with our special interests), and the Offbeat Bride timeline checklist was a LIFESAVER. I just picked out the things we wanted and wrote them down in a notebook.
I was a little nervous about having planned for 80 guests, and just in general about the day stressing me out so much that I would be exhausted for a week afterwards. But since COVID caused the guestlist to dwindle to 35 people, it made it much more manageable, so I can’t imagine how it would have been with 80!
Thanks to my smaller guestlist thanks to COVID, I also didn’t have to hug people, shake hands, or mingle a ton, which was greatfor me. I don’t really understand or like these social norms, and I hate small talk. The pandemic has been nice to us autistic brides that way!
Tell us about the ceremony: We did your typical courthouse style wedding — cause it was free (haha). Since half my family is Filipino, they couldn’t have made it to Norway pandemic or not, and since almost 50 people couldn’t make it because of the pandemic, we live-streamed the ceremony.
We were only allowed to be 10 people total in there. My sister used my phone to stream it on Facebook, and I even had some family standing outside watching! Plus friends around the world, of course. We still haven’t watched it back, but I think it’s gonna be nice to look back on.
We totally stole the show with our extravagant looks, we got so many compliments from people connected to the weddings before and after us, and the people inside the courthouse themselves!
I’ve never really understood why people think a courthouse wedding isn’t worth dressing up for. It’s still your wedding day!
Also, there are SO many wedding traditions that me as an autistic bride just react with “why” to and feel no obligation to follow. We question and see right through those things everybody does “just because that’s the way it’s done”. Which is why in local wedding groups when people ask “do I HAVE to do X?” I advocate for doing whatever the hell you want! It’s your wedding, you decide what is right for you.
Tell us about the reception: Originally I didn’t really want a set seating chart, maybe just group certain people, and after dinner they could mingle. Buut the pandemic changed that. We got hit with the second wave the month before, and luckily there was a dip in numbers around our wedding, so we decided to go ahead with the party.
We had a sweetheart table, and seven tables with about five people at each. Families got their own tables, and friends who would see each other otherwise got to sit together, but some had to sit about a meter apart. We bought SO many bottles of hand sanitizer that we put EVERYWHERE. In our invitation, we asked people not to hug and shake hands, and keep to other restrictions we had at the time.
We had a friend as toastmaster, who did a wonderful job.
For dinner we had a taco buffet, which everybody loved.
Our cake and cupcakes matched our theme of course, and I got the topper custom-made.
Cutting the cake was much more complicated affair than I imagined! I’m so glad my sister filmed it so we can laugh again and again at the clunky logistics of it.
We are all for gender role reversal, equality and feminism, so we took some hilarious photos! We also took each other’s surnames. His family’s surname is actually his mother’s, which I think is pretty cool.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? People told me that your wedding day will never be just like you planned it to be. It definitely wasn’t. A global pandemic and other factors left us with a huge drop in guests, it rained, and yeah. It was still a wonderful day.
I was surprised at how chill I was, I didn’t feel any stress at all, even though everyone around me did!
I only have two regrets, really:
Time went by so fast that I felt I didn’t take enough time to talk to every person (can you imagine if there were 80 guests?!)
The playlist I had made wasn’t put on until after dessert. So I will share it with you! It’s 100 songs and about 8 hours long, and features mostly goth, post-punk etc., but also metal, electronic and pop. Mostly love themed! The entire party cheer-pressured Simen into dancing with me, so we danced to “Love My Way” by The Psychedelic Furs. A pretty fitting song! It was just as awkward as first dances tend to be. It was mostly Simen taking super long steps and me trying to follow with my stubby legs. After a minute he stopped and said “Happy?” and I went “No wait! Dip me!” and made a dramatic pose. He did, and everyone cheered.
Bride’s dress: I purchased the dress from a Chinese dressmaker who I later learned had unscrupulous business practices, so I can’t recommend them even though the dress was lovely.
Stairway to heaven? More like stairway to an epic Upstairs Atlanta wedding. With breathtaking florals, show-stopping fashion, and the addition of a rose unity ceremony, this love fest was anything but ordinary. With the help of wedding planner Smooth as Butter Weddings, Sarah and Brittany crafted a beautiful, fun-filled celebration. Their wedding was seriously representative of their love for one another.
Food and florals were the couple’s top wedding planning priorities. The result was a feast for the eyes and the stomach. Florist Flaura Botanica dressed the industrial wedding space with jaw-dropping arrangements and an eye-catching, asymmetrical arch. The arch was so beautiful it was repurposed and used as a sweetheart table backdrop.
Photographer and Junebug member The Tinsley Co captured every out-of-the-box detail that made this celebration one to remember. Get ready to stuff your face and your Pinterest boards with wedding planning tips and inspiration from Atlanta couple, Sarah and Brittany.
The Couple:
Sarah and Brittany
The Wedding:
Atlanta, Georgia
Being Present On Your Wedding Day
After arriving at the venue, we took a few minutes to grab a sneak peek at the ceremony and reception space. Mostly to soak up and witness our vision brought to life. In that moment, we truly had the opportunity to marvel at every detail that we had thought so long and hard about. It allowed for us to have a moment alone—feeling present on our wedding day.
Food, Food, And More Food
One of the most important elements for our wedding was food. This ties back to our desire to create an intimate dinner party vibe. We wanted the food to stand out as something that would be talked about by our guests long after they left our wedding. Endive Catering knocked it out of the park. To say the guests left full—and happy—is an understatement.
Show-Stopping Florals In This Upstairs Atlanta Wedding
Florals hand-down stole the show. Each and every aspect of our wedding was enhanced due to the amazing florals that Flaura Botanica created.
Involving Loved Ones In A Personalized Ceremony
When it came to the role of our officiant, we knew we wanted someone who loved and supported us from the beginning. Having a close friend officiate our ceremony allowed us to personalize the script. It was important to have wording that felt representative of our love for one another.
Unique Rose Unity Ceremony
A personalized and unique aspect of our wedding was the addition of a rose unity ceremony. Roses are an ancient symbol of love and the goal of this ritual was to create a way to express our love. When words fail or when the challenges of life or marriage begin to weigh, one of us is to go out, get a rose, and put it in the special vase used during our ceremony. A great reminder of that moment and the love we felt for one another on our wedding day.
The best advice we received was from our photographer, The Tinsley Co. She advised us to think of the vendor-search as if we’re creating our dream team. A team that we trust to bring our vision to life. Through every vendor interview, we thought through not only the vendor’s skill set, but their personality and how they would work collectively with the rest of our team.
Congratulations Sarah and Brittany on their stunning Upstairs Atlanta wedding. And big thanks to Junebug Photographer The Tinsley Co for capturing every wedding day detail. From the sweet unity ceremony to the personalized ceremony script, every aspect of this day was crafted with intentionality in mind.
Relinquishing all wedding day decisions and handing wedding planning duties off to a talented team of vendors can be difficult for some couples. For wedding giveaway winners Mariela and Gilberto, the risk paid off. Every detail—from the personalized ceremony script to the hand-crafted menu—of this iridescent color palettewedding was carefully crafted to authentically celebrate this nontraditional couple.
This emotional and intimate affair was full of tears, good food, and a view that will have couples dreaming of their own destination elopements. Though the El Pretexto venue spoke for itself, wedding planner Ana Maria Hernandez enhanced the space with tropical floral arrangements by STEM Events and a geometrical, iridescent ceremony backdrop—hand-crafted by Liliweds.
We can’t take our eyes off these precious moments captured by photographer Phosphilic. Grab your tissues and get ready to step outside the traditional wedding planning box while scrolling through these images.
Planner Ana Maria Hernandez On This Iridescent Color Palette Wedding
It all started with wanting to show a different style of wedding in Puerto Rico. A giveaway was created in hopes of creating a unique wedding for a real couple. The winning couple—Mariela Colón and Gilberto Rosario—had to fully trust the talented wedding vendors behind this magnificent event. This event was unique, creative, and created for the couple. It was also a look into the future of weddings after COVID—smaller, intimate, shorter, focused on experiences rather than traditions.
The Couple:
Mariela and Gilberto
The Wedding:
Cayey, Puerto Rico
Personalized Ceremony Surrounded By Loved Ones
The wedding ceremony was very emotional and special. We weren’t sure if some of our family members were going to be able to attend for health reasons, but they made it. Our ceremony was written for us by Ana Maria and she included part of our story. It was magical.
Every Detail A Work Of Art, Literally
It all felt like a dream, everything was so well thought out. Every detail blended so well with the next: the dress, the groom’s suit, the cake, the ceremony backdrop, even the menus were literally a work of art.
Working With Phosphilic
Our photographers, Rey and Natasha from Phosphilic were amazing! They made us feel so comfortable and they really outdid themselves capturing every detail and every moment of our wedding.
From the tropical decor to the colorful fashion, no aspect of this iridescent color palette wedding was traditional. It celebrated the couples uniqueness and proved that sometimes less is more. If you’re feeling inspired to ditch tradition or looking for fun, creative ways to set your wedding apart—like rocking a non-white wedding dress—check out this guide for planning a unique wedding.
Matching wedding party baseball jerseys, furry friends in flower collars, and epic bridal fashion complete with a fringe wedding dress and seriously killer bridal pantsuit–what more could you ask for in a wedding? Whitney and Haley’s Union On Eighth nuptials were focused less on trends and more on details that they loved. The results were stunning, to say the least.
With the help of planner Simply XO Events, the couple transformed the old mechanic shop into a wedding venue. The building was filled with bold florals from Ida Mayes Floristry, romantic table settings, and a huge hanging neon sign from Brite Light Tribe. But enough about the decor, the fringey free-spirited Tara Laurenwedding dress looked dazzling paired with the clean-cut Rime Arodaky and Kira Kouture bridal suit combo.
The photos captured by Map + Compass Photography are sure to inspire more boho “I do’s,” so keep scrolling and get ready to save every last photo.
I did a boudoir shoot and gifted Haley a leather book of the photos. I wanted this to be something that we could look back on when we are older and remember who we were at this stage in life. Haley gifted me a ring that she had custom-made for me. She took a few stones from one of my Nana’s rings and had a jeweler create the most perfectly dainty gold ring. My Nana was my favorite person in the whole wide world, and unfortunately, she passed away years ago. She wasn’t able to attend our wedding or ever know Haley. So Haley wanted me to always have a piece of her with me, especially on such a special day. One of the stones was a blue sapphire, which made it my “something blue” too.
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A Special Ceremony Musician
We had a musician perform during the ceremony, and he was someone that we had heard at dinner one night a couple of years prior to us even being engaged. That night years ago I told Haley that if we ever got married, I wanted him there, and proceeded to wait for him to finish so that I could get his contact information.
Creating The Wedding Day Aesthetic
I try not to decorate or design based on trends because I know that those will fade. We applied this same thought process to our wedding. We began choosing designs and items that we loved and that we knew we would love for a long, long time. Once we had narrowed things down, we created a mood board to get a good idea of how everything would work together.
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Why A Union On Eighth Wedding
We chose our venue because it felt like us. It wasn’t a brand new building with brand new light fixtures and no character. It was an old mechanic shop turned wedding venue, and the moment you walk in, you just know that those walls have held love, life, and stories.
We had a sweetheart table, and seven tables with about five people at each. Families got their own tables, and friends who would see each other otherwise got to sit together, but some had to sit about a meter apart. We bought SO many bottles of hand sanitizer that we put EVERYWHERE. In our invitation, we asked people not to hug and shake hands, and keep to other restrictions we had at the time.
